my heart hurts extra bad today

my heart is hurting extra hard today. wishing i could just go to the dr so that we can get on with trying to have a baby. this really hurts. i know there is someone out there that knows how i feel but right now it does not seem like it. i got this message from a girl that was wanting to give her baby up for adoption......(I'm glad I met you too and if I do realize I can't I want you and your husband to be his parent)  so now i do not know what she is going to do. she say that she wants to try to take care of him first. i feel bad when i think that i do not want her to be able to take care of him so that we can have a baby. so 7 years of hurt i guess waiting longer will not kill me. maybe this is just god telling me that i will never get to have my dream of being a mom. i just dont understand as long as i can remember i have wanted to be a mom. i also wanted to have more than one. now i would give anything just to be called mommy by one. i sit day after day crying about all of the things that i cant change maybe i just need to move on and get a new dream. i wish i knew what was wrong with me. hope that i feel better soon. praying for a miracle to happen soon. with all that has been going wrong or bad in my life something has got to break soon..